It’s been awhile since I sat down and decided to blog, I don’t know why that is I just get wrapped up in life events. I tend to lose focus when it comes to me and the promises I make to myself. I find that this is strange to me because, I consider myself a man of my word. I do not like to break promises to the people in my life, but in doing so I break promises to myself. I forget about me in the process of being a stand up guy. This week has been an eye opener of me observing my action and the reactions I will get if I continue to break the promises I made to myself. I’m reclaiming my time, and I’m ready to get back to me and focusing on me and all things Isiah. I also have to constantly remind myself of this because I tend to forget about me and it’s easy to do when you want to give everyone your time and love. I love to think that I can spread myself out to everyone but it’s become apparent that I can’t. “common sense is common sense but it is not always common”, Hint’s me constantly always reminding myself that I suck at multitasking.
Were to start on what’s been going on! I have somewhat been focused in some aspects of my life and I’ve dropped the ball in other parts. I will however say that I have remained focused when it comes to my future plans and where it is I want to go. Which I consider a plus because future plans can seem far away, yet I have tunnel vision when it comes to these plans. I’m dropping the ball when it comes to the short term goals and promises that I have made to myself, which that all stops today.
What are some of the promises that I feel like, I’ve not been keeping to myself? One of the promises that I feel like I’ve not kept to myself is writing on my blog and keeping deadlines I set for my blog. I’ve also made excuses of why it is okay to not work on my blog. Excuses makes things seem okay, but we know that excuses are just our way of procrastinating, or making things that are bad for us seem good. I notice I can make anything bad sound good when it comes to the excuses; I come up with. I’m a pro at this, but I also have amazing friends who will call me out on my “bullshit” which then wheels me back into reality, even though I want to be in La La land sometimes.
That brings me to one of my best friends Nicole Boehmer Adkins, who is my “Bullshit whistle blower” Shes amazing at bring one back to reality which I love. I recall a time I was working out hard, but was making horrible food choices. I would also make excuses for the horrible food choices, although I knew I was wrong. Nicole was the one person who called me out, and made me realize that I need to come back to reality. Her words of truthfulness got me back on track. Sometimes I don’t know where I would be without a friend like her. She’s an amazing woman, wife, mother, and friend. I’m grateful to have amazing friends like Nicole B. Adkins.
The other promises that I’ve been back and forth on is not going out, if I have not completed my blog post for the week. I don’t like to reward myself if my work is not complete. I made a promise to myself that the task I set for the week had to be done in order for me to do any kind of activities on the weekend. I’m a firm believer of not rewarding ones self if he or she does not earn it. I’ve set personal goals and rules for myself to keep me focused on the path, that I want to take and the goals: I want to achieve.
Although I have been back and forth with the promises regarding my blog, I have managed to stay focused when it comes to other aspect of my life. One of the things that I have been focused on is getting everything submitted so that I can go back to college. I’m currently enrolling in college for my masters in theological studies. If you’ve been reading my blog you know that I’ve completed my first step which was my statement of purpose. Sense then I have completed my application, along with taking all the necessary steps; that the school requires of its students. I have one last step to take before I am fully enrolled into the college of my choice. That step is to take the “Graduate record exam” (GRE). This test is considered to be a common test that colleges, ask students like my self to take to get an understand if students are ready to attend there school. The test is supposed to test students critical thinking, analytical writing, communication skills, and verbal reasoning skills. All of which I feel I have and I know I will do great.
What else is going on with me? I’m currently working on self love, my sobriety, remaining consistent when it comes to my health, and strengthening my relationships with Jesus Christ our lord and savior. These four things allow me to remain grounded as I continue my journey in this often cold world. I tend to get distracted, which sometimes allows me to lose focus on these four important goals of mines; but self love and the love I have for Jesus Christ and our Father (God) wheels me back in. It wheels me back in and I start to remember what’s important in life.
I know, I know, I need to take a break it seems so overwhelming and fast paste; now that I have time to finally sit down and write. Two weeks of no writing felt like an eternity. A lot has changed within that two weeks. I applied for a new job and got it, I put in my two week notice at my current job, and I’m helping a family friend while they get use to some medical changes. Although a lot has changed and things seem to be moving fast, I continue to smile and be hopeful. The hope and joy that I continue to experience is none other then the faith I have in our Lord and savior Jesus Christ , who will lead me and everyone who choose to follow to the promises land. That hope along is enough to keep me going, that hope alone will continue to push me in the right direction.
Coming to a close my life is changing fast, but it’s a constant battle in reminding myself to take care of me. I have to continually remind myself if I can’t keep a promise to myself, I won’t be able to keep promise to the people in my life. It’s something I am working on and will always work on because I forget. Being a stand up guy is an amazing thing, but not standing up for ones own need forces; you to lose focus of what it is that we have going on for ourselves.
I hope everyone had a great week, and that you all have an even better weekend.
Isiah Cummings III